Hope my biao jie have a blissful marriage. Thou i hate the fact that she still go ahead with the wedding plan despite grandma's death. Someone who can still be so happy on her wedding night. When she didnt even pay grandma her last respect. 4 tables is closed cause the whole lot of relative is not able to attend.
Had fits last night at around 3am. And vommited twice. The whole ordeal ended at 5.20am. Hope its nothing serious. At least there is no more fever! Tomorrow is attachment! But im not looking forward to it. I feel like shit now.

Grandma hospital bill came. $1100.10 after the government subsidiary. How is my family suppose to pay the bill. Time of admission was at 10.49 on 050909 and time of discharge was at 2.49 on 060909. 4 hours of stay and the bill is that much. Maybe i should not be that stubborn and force my grandma into hospital. Looking at the bill. I remembered how she grabbed the sides of my bed, not wanting to leave my room. I remembered the time she played with saliva when i am hugging her throughout the journey to hospital cause i previously cant stand the stickiness and smell and return home to change. I remembered that my whole shirt was filled with her saliva. Thoughts of her came running through my mind when i was resting just now, sick with high fever, on her massage chair. Flashbacks,
On how she laughed at me when i brought Jing and Mel over to my house to visit her and asking them to leave cause my mum is not at home just the day before she passed away.
On how she said that I'm silly cause i make a big fuss out of things.
When somebody who stepped on Mel's leg on the bus without saying sorry. I simply said in the top of my voice"有一个人很没有礼貌。踩到人家的脚不会讲对不起。我在想你到底是不是男人。" Meaning to say. "There is a someone who have no manners. Step on people's leg don't even know how to say sorry. I'm wondering if you are a man." The whole bus stared at me but i continued shouting. Guess what he did? Stared at me and alight at the next stop.
When the durians that i bought for her not suitable for her liking and i walked back to change for another durian.
When i ordered laksa with extra cockles and the stall owner gave me laksa without cockles plus fish ball. Of cause i went back to change. I wouldn't eat anything i didn't ordered.
When i ordered 鱼肉粗米粉不要菜 THICK FISH BEEHOON WITHOUT VEGETABLES and that stall owner gave me THIN PORK BEEHOON WITH EXTRA VEGETABLES. The owner still tell me i said i wanted meat. And she gave me pork. Of cause i wanted my fish meat in my fish beehoon. If not WHY the hell did i buy from there. Might as well buy from the stall that sells pork noodles. She refuses to change my order. Am so lucky that i have not paid. So i slammed the whole PORK noodles in her face and shouted. NOBODY IN THE RIGHT MIND WILL BUY PORK NOODLES FROM A SHOP WHICH SELLS FISH BEEHOON. And i left.
Plus many more not meant to be said here.
Thinking back. I still miss my grandma. And i learnt to cherish life more. Someone who is healthy and lively could be dead the next day. Who knows when my turn will come. Do you?

My teeth hurts like mad! Lower is at least 3 times the pain than the upper teeth. Its only after they put the wire on did i notice how bad the shape my teeth was. The wire was zig zag! The kind dentist offered to change to a thinner wire. Thank Goodness! Despite the pain. I still went ahead to eat crab!
Plus Flu vaccine is Freaking Expensive! 1st consultation $20 plus that jab $25! If the 2 polyclinics and my family clinic have the stock for the jab i will not go to that clinic! Argh! Felt cheated!
Popped by his road show place on his 1st day of work on Wednesday. When i told him that i will not go and see him cause im freaking busy! LOL! Prepared Lunch/Dinner for him with a bottle of water. Must be touched ok? I spent 3 hours preparing the food. With a few drip of blood as i cut myself. Cause its the 1st time i make.=) I think the pain is making me forget what i want to type. That explains the disorganised post. Whatever. Bye.

CAME HOME JUST TO SAY. I PASSED MY FTT!! COMPLETED THE WHOLE 50 QUESTIONS IN 3 MINUTES. START AT 11.45 AND I CAME OUT AT 11.48. PRINTED RESULTS AND 11.49 AND I'M THE 1ST TO LEAVE THE EXAM HALL AGAIN. AFTER BROWSING THROUGH MY QUESTIONS 2 TIMES. LUNCHED. AND I WILL BE GOING BACK TO CDC SOON. FOR MY DRIVING LESSON. KIND OF BORED ALREADY. NO MOTIVATION TO CONTINUE LEARNING DRIVING. SIGH.

IM CHEERED UP ABIT AFTER GOING BACK TO CITY HARVEST CHURCH TODAY. FTT E TRAIL ON MONDAY FOLLOWED BY FTT TEST ON TUESDAY. AT LEAST NOW I GOT THE MOOD TO STUDY ABIT. THINK ITS TIME TO GET READY FOR MY ATTACHMENT. TIME FOR REVISION!

I GOT BACK THAT VERY GOOD DRIVING INSTRUCTOR FOR MY 3RD LESSON AND IT WAS FUN. THOU I NEARLY GOT BOTH OF US KILLED. WAS VERY SLEEPY AS I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH SLEEP FOR THE PAST WEEK DUE TO SONGKA. THAT INSTRUCTOR FOR THE 2ND DRIVING LESSON IS "I DONT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE" KIND OF PERSON. ASK ME TO DO ALL THE THINGS ON THE ROAD WITHOUT TEACHING. AND HE KEPT SCOLDING ME DURING THE LAST 5 MINUITS OF THE LESSON. SO IRRITATING! HOW YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE NOT TEACH! AND IM NOT IN THE MOOD AT THAT TIME AS WELL.

WONDER HOW WILL MY NEXT LESSON BE LIKE. FOUR WEEKS FROM NOW. WILL I STILL REMEMBER HOW TO DO THOSE HAND FOOT CO-ORDINATION STUFF? I GOT NO IDEA. BACK TO STUDY FOR FTT. AND AFTER TUESDAY CAN STUDY FOR ATTACHMENT STUFF ALREADY. HOPE ATTACHMENT WILL BE EASY. CAUSE MANY PEOPLE SAID THAT CGH IS THE MOST DIRTY HOSPITAL AND HAVE THE MOST HARD TO HANDLE PATIENTS, VISITORS, NURSES AND DOCTORS.

TATA.

Today is the end of the 5day wake. I cried again. Once at midnight, Once before they close the coffin, Once when we are walking behind the van which is bringing the coffin. And many times at Mandai Crematorium and Columbarium.

Many things happened.
As we prepared the Pink packets the past few days. My cousins and i added a $2 into the usual pack of $2s. Meaning to say. All the pink packet was with $2 while 1 have $4. And we said that. Whoever gets the $4 means that Grandma is watching over him/her. And will make sure that he/she will be well and safe. A 1 in a 100 chance to get the $4. Cause there is 100 pink packets. What made is even harder was that we spread the pink packets all over the table mess it up and we collected it back.

On Monday night. My uncle said he wanted to ask Grandma for 4D and he went to sleep beside her. After that he woke up at 4am saying that the number was below the coffin. My cousin and i got nothing to do. So we decided to kill boredom by looking for numbers under the coffin. Which was made up of scratches. The number is ****... And it is also the last four digit of 2 of the telephone numbers of their phonebook!

On Tuesday night, My uncle rent that extra space that was not needed for that day to some idiots and he pushed the blame to my dad. Same thing happened this morning. Lucky they wasn't caught. If not. I make sure my uncle wouldn't get out of this matter as well.

Usual quarrel among the adults over money matters. Cause each of them needs to fork out extra sum of $$ for the wake which was first paid by my dad. They argued for at least 1 whole hour and i fell asleep! Home by 7pm, eat and now I'm going to rest my tired souls for FTT trail test and Driving lessons tomorrow. Tata.

I promised my grandma silently just now that i would be strong. No more tears. Cause she don't want me to be like that. Yes. I got the pack with the $4. And I'm keeping it as safely as i can. Cause she is watching over me. =) Do you believe in life after death?

Today is the end of the 5day wake. I cried again. Once at midnight, Once before they close the coffin, Once when we are walking behind the van which is bringing the coffin. And many times at Mandai Crematorium and Columbarium.

Many things happened.
As we prepared the Pink packets the past few days. My cousins and i added a $2 into the usual pack of $2s. Meaning to say. All the pink packet was with $2 while 1 have $4. And we said that. Whoever gets the $4 means that Grandma is watching over him/her. And will make sure that he/she will be well and safe. A 1 in a 100 chance to get the $4. Cause there is 100 pink packets. What made is even harder was that we spread the pink packets all over the table mess it up and we collected it back.

On Monday night. My uncle said he wanted to ask Grandma for 4D and he went to sleep beside her. After that he woke up at 4am saying that the number was below the coffin. My cousin and i got nothing to do. So we decided to kill boredom by looking for numbers under the coffin. Which was made up of scratches. The number is ****... And it is also the last four digit of 2 of the telephone numbers of their phonebook!

On Tuesday night, My uncle rent that extra space that was not needed for that day to some idiots and he pushed the blame to my dad. Same thing happened this morning. Lucky they wasn't caught. If not. I make sure my uncle wouldn't get out of this matter as well.

Usual quarrel among the adults over money matters. Cause each of them needs to fork out extra sum of $$ for the wake which was first paid by my dad. They argued for at least 1 whole hour and i fell asleep! Home by 7pm, eat and now I'm going to rest my tired souls for FTT trail test and Driving lessons tomorrow. Tata.

I promised my grandma silently just now that i would be strong. No more tears. Cause she don't want me to be like that. Yes. I got the pack with the $4. And I'm keeping it as safely as i can. Cause she is watching over me. =) Do you believe in life after death?

Grandma collapse and is in a very critical condition now. Heart attack, Internal bleeding, High Glucose Level, Low Blood Count, And many more shit! It was stabilised at 1.30 pm and we decided to go home and have a quick shower before going back down to the hospital. Just as i reach home, received a call from that grandma is in a very critical condition. and is only breathing at 18BPM. Rushed down and reach TTSH at 2.30. Cried as i accompany my grandma through the last few minutes of her life. Yes. She passed away on 060909 at 0249. Cried even worst after that. Waited while the nurse cleansed the body. Then collect the body from the mortuary. When i see her face again. Tears rolled down my cheeks. For once in the past 2 years since i left FCBC. I prayed in tongues! And in a very natural way. Thanks to my other relative who allowed me to have that one minute alone with her. I guess it was GOD telling me that. Grandma suffered long enough. I don't know what to do right now. Going for SongKa for the next few days. And YES. I lost all(if not most) my confidence to be a nurse.
Till Then. Cya.

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